Because It Hurts
by BadGurl
Summary: I don't know if this is bordering on rated r or what.


I don't own digimon k?   
I was just doing this because I was bored. I was supposed to be real short but I got a little into it. I don't know yes if I should make another chap. though. Just 2 let u know this song is by dido its called here with me. Its one of my absolute hands down two thumbs up faves! ^ ^  
  
  
  
Just Because It Hurts  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sora. It was always Sora. Sora got everything she ever wanted. Why? Because she had a harsh past? Because her parents were divorced? Because she had the crest of love? Sincerity. Feh, it was such irony. She had the crest of love, especially since she was forced to act happy everytime Sora and Taichi kissed. Everytime he told her he loved her. Everytime he held her. And she wasn't her. Mimi looked up at the stars of the Digital sky. It looked so,so,.....black! It wasn't the shade of navey like the earth's sky. Mimi had never favored black, but now she could make an exception.  
  
I didn't hear you leave  
I wonder how am I still here  
And I don't want to know the things  
It might change my memory  
  
She didn't want to see any happy colors now. Not even her beautiful pink that she had always loved. She suddenly began to remember her parents. Her mom. Her dad. "Mama, Daddy, I miss you." But her whispered words fell of deaf ears. To her, her parents were magic. They could kiss any hurt away, turn sad into happy, and when she was a baby make little animal shapes with their hands to make her happy. She remembered when she was a little girl how her Dad would do magic and pull a quarter out of her ear. Mimi giggled as she remembered how she stared in awe at the trick and begged her father to do it again and again. Yes, she had thought her daddy was super man then. A frown replaced Mimi's smile as another memory crossed her mind. It was a fantastic trick, but thats all it was. A trick. Her father had come into her room to read her a bedtime story and when it was over he did the trick again and she squealed in delight. It was only short lived though. While he was pulling the quarter from her ear Mimi had happened to look into her mirror from the corner of her eye and had seen that the magic was fake. After she had clapped her hands and laughed as her father fakely bowed and kissed her good night.   
  
  
Oh I am What I am  
I'll do What I want  
But I can't hide  
And I won't go  
I won't sleep  
I can't breath  
'Till you're resting here with me  
  
She had cried that night though. Not because of finding out. But because she had realized something when she had looked into the mirror. Mimi was to young to know what it was then but she knew now. She cried because the magic was over. She was growing up. And was experiencing her first hurt. Her innosence was chipping away with every tear. Mimi had realized that her parents weren't magic. That they couldn't make all bad things go away. She realized that her precious shield from the harsh world was slowly crumbling and leaving her vulnerable to it. After that everytime her knee was scraped or she had hurt herself, her parents 'kissing better' seemed to do nothing for the pain now. It still hurt. Mimi remembered holding herself curled up in a little ball at night, because she knew something was happening. It was over. Her precious ignorance to the world and all its hurts was coming to an end. And leaving her trembling in its wake.  
  
And I won't leave  
And I can't hide  
I cannot be  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
Mimi's parents had sheltered her and protected her from the world. Yet they couldn't do it forever. In doing she had become dependent of them to keep the pain away. Where had that got her? Stuck in the digital world, alone, hungry, cold, and heart broken. Mimi remebered something before all this. She was only eight and her parents were taking her to the park to play with some assosiets kids. They had said that they were in their class and it was okay. She and another boy were playing with a ball, just passing it back an forth. She had failed to catch the ball and had dashed off to fetch it. When she did the ball was beneath someone else's foot. Another boy. Only this one was different. He was older about ten and had a smirk on his face as he watched her come up to try to take the ball. He had black hair(picture chibi trunk's first haircut style k?) and jade green eyes. His clothes were very different from hers. Baggy navy jeans and a black t-shirt on.  
  
Don't want to call my friends  
They might wake me from this dream  
And I can't leave this place  
  
"Can I please have that?" She asked. They boy coyly cocked his head at her. "What do you want to have?" Mimi pointed at the ball that he was rolling beneath his foot. "That." The boy just stared at her with that smirk. "Why?" Mimi was becoming confused. "Because its mine." "So?" "I want to play with it." "is that so?" "Uh huh." "How come?" "Because I like it." "Why?" Why was he asking her these questions! She was getting confused and wanted her pink ball back. Maybe he wanted to play with her. That was it! He wanted to be friends and didn't want her to leave. Mimi smiled at him with this idea. "I'll share it with you. Want to play with me?" She asked innocently. The coy smirk was still on his face with his head cocked. He nodded and let the ball slip from his foot. He watched it roll to her and she picked it up. "Ummm wanna play basket ball?" She asked as she took off her hat and placed it on the ground. "Who ever gets it in the most times wins okay?" The smirking boy simply nodded.  
  
Oh I am what I am  
I'll do what I want  
But I can't hide  
I won't go  
I won't sleep  
And I can't breath  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
Mimi and the boy sat down and started to play.They began to toss the ball and pass it back and forth. Mimi couldn't help but notice that the boy kept staring at her. She was greatful when he finally decided to break the silence. "Whats your name?" He asked slyly. "Mimi. Whats yours?" He stared at her. "Mimi..."He let her name roll off his tounge like a sacred mantra. Mimi gulped and nodded, suddenly not so interested in finding out his name. He threw the ball into the hat and landed it perfectly as always. But he didn't go get it as they had been doing. Mimi looked up at him suprised that he didn't go and get the ball. He was staring at her again. finally he raised his hand to her face and pinched her cheek. Her hand immediately went up to the sore cheek and clasped it in pain. She stared in shock at the boy she had been trying to share her toy with.  
  
And I won't see  
And I can't hide  
I cannot be  
Untill you're resting here  
  
This only seemed to make his smile widen. Before she could cry he had back handed her across the face, sending her a few feet away from him. She had tried to back away but in an instant he was on her smacking her. Mimi screamed and cried but this only seemed to make him smile more and but more force into his punches. In a blur of blue and black the boy was off of her. She got up and was about to run when she looked to see another boy punching the boy that had hit her. The black haired boy finally managed to run away. Mimi looked up at her savior. He had big brown hair and chocolate eyes. He hugged her and tried to get her mind off the incedent with by showing her tricks he could do with her pink ball. They looked up just in time to see Mimi's parents racing to her. They had heard her scream and had seen the boy shove the other boy off her. Mimi's mother picked her up and sobbed into her cinemen hair as she sung a little lullaby to her to calm her down. The big brown haired boy that she had found out was named Taichi had told her mother and father the whole story.  
  
And I won't go  
And I won't sleep  
And I can't breath  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
Her father carressed her back to comfort her. "That boy must have some pretty messed up parents if he's doing that to little girls." He said as her mother nodded in consent. Mimi's dad thanked Taichi and the family turned to leave. Mimi looked at her brown haired savior that hadn't moved from that spot. She waved at him trying to smile. His own smile beamed as he virgously waved back to her. After that she had only seen him in classes at school. Unfortunately he was always with Sora. Mimi would here awe's and 'aren't they so cute together?' whenever they did something. She had never replyed to what they said. She just couldn't bring herself to say anything. Why couldn't her and Taichi be together? Would that have really been so bad? When they had gotten to the digital world it only got worse. Sora and Taichi were practically joined at the hip!   
  
And I won't go  
And I won't sleep  
I cannot be  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
When he had come to her at the gekomon's castle she was ecstatic! She didn't want to leave because she knew that he wouldn't leave without her. If she left, everything would go back to normal. At least here he was with her.Mimi knew that Sora knew she liked Taichi. Mimi saw all the sly and triumphants glances Sora would throw her way whenever Taichi showed her special attention. She sighed and looked at Taichi and Sora curled up to one another. Tears came to her hazel eyes but she violently fought them back. Heh, it was funny all the techniques she had found to hold back pain. She had learned how to roll her eyes back slightly so the tears would roll back into her eyes. Yes, that one was the easiest.  
  
Then yesterday had come and ended her life.  
  
Oh I am what I am  
I'll do what I want  
But I can't hide  
I won't go  
I won't sleep  
I can't breath  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
flashback  
  
The digidestined were gathered around the campfire eating supper with their respectful digimon counter parts. Yamato had done his best to sit next to her during dinner. She watched as Sora leaned in and whispered something in Taichi's ear. A grin broke across his face and he nodded eagerly. Mimi looked away not wanting her heart to hurt anymore than it was. Yamato put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Taichi stood up and everyone instantly gave their attention to him. "Hey everybody I gotta anouncement to make!" Everyone looked up to him waiting for him to say it. No. She knew what he was going to say! It made sense! No Taichi! Don't speak! Please! She looked franticly to Sora praying to find something in her expression that could prove her wrong. Instead Sora met her gaze with a smirk. And nodded. NO! "Sora and I are together!" He exclaimed happily. God no. Mimi's heart shattered into a billion micro pieces that moment.   
  
And I won't leave  
And I can't hide  
I cannot be  
Untill you're resting here   
  
A shatter erupted and everyone turned their attention to Mimi as she speedily picked up the pieces of the shattered plate from the ground. Yamato lept to her in an instant and Taichi leaned over worried. "Mimi you okay?" She giggled nervously. "Oh yeah! Just me cluzting out again!" "You were sitting down." "I know I was just thinking, we've been in the digiworld so long. Tai what if pink went out of fashion!! I-I just couldn't bear it! It can't be true!" She wailed fakely. Taichi sweatdropped and chuckled. "Mimi if it is I'm sure when we get back you'll bring it back to." Mimi beamed a fake smile Tai's way. "Thanks Tai. Your Probably right!" She said picking up the pieces. Taichi may have been satisfyed but Yamato wasn't fooled a bit. "Here let me help you." Taichi offered. "NO! I-I mean no! I c-can do It myself." She said hurriedly picking up the shattered plate and her shattered heart. Her tears were beging to get the better of her and this time her little technique wasn't working.  
  
And I won't go  
And I won't sleep  
I cannot breath  
Untill you're resting here with me  
  
Mimi had quickly picked up the plate and ran away escaping Yamato telling him she had to throw this somewhere. She had gone to this very cliff had cried her hear and soul out untill her dainty body just couldn't take it anymore. Apparently Yamato had found her curled up in a tight ball passed out and had carried her back to camp. She woke up to see Taichi and Sora kissing. After that day she had gotten violently sick and began to throw up. Palmon did what she could and had helped her get better. The pain still hurt though.  
  
  
End Flashback  
  
And I won't leave  
And I can't hide  
I cannot be  
Untill you're resting here with me   
  
Mimi let out a yawn and fought the urge to go to sleep. It was her watch after all. She wouldn't have Taichi thinking her more a snobby little priss than he already did. Mimi felt soft hand touch her shoulder. She whipped around ready to alert the others. She gazed into softening Azure eyes and relaxed. "You okay Mim's?" Yamato asked gently. She tossed him a smile that made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. "Yeah, just(yawn) a little sleepy." Yamato slowly sat down next to her. Mimi knew of his feelings for her. He had changed a bit over the years in the digital world. He said it was Mimi who changed him. Perhaps it was true, but she didn't want any credit. He was still very aloof to the others, but when they were alone he could be quite blunt and passionate about his feelings for her. Yamato had told her he loved her countless times. He knew she loved Taichi but that still didn't stop him from trying to steal her heart from him.  
  
"Maybe you should get some sleep." He offered. "Wha? No way! It's my watch." He turned to her. "I'll stay your watch." He told her. "Yama-kun no. You already had yours its my turn and I'll stay it."She said stubornly. Yamato could be just as stuborn as her at times so she quickly thought of something to satisfy them both. "But why don't you stay and keep me company?" Yamato smiled at her and nodded leaning against the tree that was behind them. The rest of the digidestined were a little ways behind them. The land had stopped at a cliff that over looked the ocean and the rest of the land so they thought it was an excelent post. The stars sparkled on the pair happily. Mimi layed her back on the tree behind them and continued to stare out at the ocean. She felt a small creeping behind her in the small space between her back and the tree.  
  
She was about to look to see what it was but soon found Yamato's hand had crept behind her and fastened itself around her waste. Mimi was about to pull away but his arm refused to give up the closeness. She sighed and gave into his warmth. Mimi curled up to him as close as her body could get and leaned her head against his shoulder. Yamato could feel the butterflies in his stomach turn to frantic eagles as she accepted his body. He slowly as to not to frighten her, layed his head on top of hers. His other hand made its way to clasp the other one to bring her closer to him. They stared out onto the ocean for what seemed like hours. Finally he broke the silence. "Why?" "Why what?" "Why Taichi?" A silence passed between them and Yamato waited for her answer. "You can't control love. Or the pain it brings. God knows if I had a choice my heart would be in your hands. I'm sure had you been given the choice you wouldn't be here right now."She whispered to him.  
  
"Yes I would. I adore every second of loving you. I just hate the fact that you don't love me. I swear Mimi, if you could feel the way I love you it would kill you. I've needed you since the day I saw you. I have to be close to you Mimi, but I can't get that close and it kills me! Its like-" "The closer you get to that person the more the other pulls that person away from you. I know." She finished. Nothing was said for a while untill he chose to give one last fight. "No. I don't think you do." He simply held her for an eternity and more. He didn't want to hear why she didn't love him, or why she couldn't be his. Yamato took his head away from her and with the hand that was wrapped around her front he picked her chin up to meet him. He stared into her gorgeous hazel eyes forever. "Yam-" He brought a finger to her lips. "Shhhhhhh just give me this." He stared at his finger and ran it across her lips, watching it as it trailed back and forth.  
  
Finally he slid it under her chin and raised her face. He slowly, softly, gently brought her silky lips to his. The hand around her back tightened and crushed her to the hard body. The other hand came up from under her chin and carressed her cheek resting to cradle it. The kiss was hard at first but she accepted it and returned the favor untill it softened to passionate. Their lungs began to sing for air and they parted briefly. "Yama-kun-" "Yama-chan!" He corrected before going back to tasting her lips. Mimi had stopped thinking a long time ago and had wrapped her hands around his kneck. He gave one long passionate kiss to her lips and left a trail of kisses down her jaw to her neck. "A shiteru A shiteru A shiteru A shiteru A shiteru..."He murmured over and over again like his sacred prayer. "Yes." She whispered.  
  
He gently slipped the thin strap of her two piece dress that she had made out of her old one. Yamato began to kiss her collar bone all the while bringing her closer to him, almost crushing the breath from her. "My Mimi, my koishii, Mistuki, Se adore, A shiteru..." He whispered to her. The butterflies in his stomach beat against the walls threatening to fly out. The butterflies. You never forget the butterflies. Only she could give him that gift. Yamato's hand traveld underneath her shirt to trace her bra. Everything crumbled for Mimi in that instant. If he made her happy........then why was she so sad? Heh, just like the song. Why couldn't she be happy for once?! Mimi violently shoved those thoughts aside and kissed the golden haired god for all she was worth.   
  
  
  
  
Chocolate eyes stared at the pair in horror. "No....." He forced down the urge to storm over there and rip Yamato apart. Mimi had been gone far past her watch. So he had gone to get her. When Taichi had found her, she-. NO! Why was he thinking this way?! He loved Sora! Sora! They were together now! It was just the thought of Mimi with Yamato that made him tear apart. It killed him. WHY! Sora loved him! He loved Sora! So what was the damn problem! He couldn't have both of them. WAIT! Since when was there even a choice to be made! He loved Sora hands down!   
  
  
  
"Mimi."  
  



End file.
